Part of what I have had to do this year in preparation for
ordination is reflect on my call to ministry. Since today marks 100 days till
ordination! I thought I would share some of that testimony with you.
I gave my life to Jesus and came to know the love of God in
a youth group at Boshoff St Methodist church. We were just a little band of
teenage misfits (sorry guys) but it was here that I got my first real sense of
being called. I praise God for the people I encountered there, people like
Athole Davies and Cathy Bolleart who gave me their trust, friendship, affirmation,
and guidance. It was here that the opportunity to teach, and pastor and
disciple, stirred a desire to minister and a part of me came to life that I hadn’t been aware of
before.
Resisting God’s call at the age of 18 I decided rather to
study agriculture. These were definitely my wondering years, to call this an ‘interesting’
time in my life would be a kind description. Having done an unorthodox 8 month Bsc
short course at UKZN (if you know what I mean) I graduated up the hill to
Cedara ‘the college of knowledge’ where I completed a three year diploma and
began working as a dairy manager on a jersey farm in Dundee. Although I really
enjoyed farming and still think fondly of those days, even then I felt a call
to ministry. Dairying is hard and lonely work and to pass the hours I would
often think up sermons. At the risk of sounding like Angus Buchan, on some abandoned
Sunday afternoons I would preach to the cows. Sadly none ever converted but
they never fell asleep either.
From Dundee I went to the UK. It was my plan to work and
travel and really just have fun. Again there was such a paradox in my life
because I loved the work I was doing, I enjoyed the adventure I was on and the
freedom of not being responsible to anyone or anything; but looking back it was
the most lost I have ever been. My life had no meaning, no real reason. I still
find it embarrassing to think of the person I was then; yet again God gave me
friends like Oliver, Lyle and Wayne who were generous and understanding housemates.
They still remind me from time to time about the things I got up to then.
It was during this time that a second salvation played out
in my life. As I grew more and more discontented I began praying. I knew what
God was calling me to do, but I didn’t really know where to begin and I didn’t
feel I was worthy of it anymore. Finally I plucked up the courage and spoke to
a close friend, until then it had been years since I last verbalised what I felt God
was saying to me. I thought he was going to laugh at me, but I
remember a loud beating in my chest and being flooded with hope when he said, “Finally,
do you know how long we’ve been waiting for you to stop mucking about!?”He then
asked if he could pray for me and prayed a simple prayer, “Lord we can see your call on Collin’s
life, he seems ready to listen please show a way for him to honour that. Amen.”
I felt a bit let down, there were no singing angels no booming voice or light
from above just amen and we had supper.
The next morning I got the strangest letter in the post. During
my stay in the UK I had moved twice, first from Hereford to Falkirk, then from
Falkirk to London. This letter had been sent to Hereford, forwarded to Falkirk,
and then forwarded again to London. It was from Alan Wright the minister at
Wesley Methodist Church in Maritzburg. It said that they were looking for a
youth pastor. He explained that he knew I had only spent a year overseas and
might have other plans but that my name kept coming up for this position. He
had decided to take a chance and see if I would be interested.
Now I don’t know how my life would have played out had I
continued down the path I was on or had I never received that letter. I like to
think that God would have got through to me some other way, but that letter is
a deep grace moment for me, a crucial turning point. Because from there I began
working as a youth pastor, met my wife Claire, candidated and now stand 100
days away from ordination. As I reflect I am in awe and I am humbled at the
depth of God’s grace and grateful that that grace has never failed to find me.
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